


In Bite Sizes

by SuicideToro



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuicideToro/pseuds/SuicideToro
Summary: A collection of short fics and drabbles for my ever-OTP, LaviYuu from DGM.





	1. In Five

**Author's Note:**

> Grief hurries to catch up with you, but time is winning the race.

_In five._

It’s just butterflies. Butterflies. Just house-sized, metal-plated butterflies having a rave party in the mosh pit of your stomach.

_Four._

He waits, a beautiful frown on his beautiful face. 

_Three._

You never meant to tell him. Never meant to resolve the already tangled mess between you. You know the only way it would unravel was with a flashing snip of scissors cutting clean through your heartstrings.

_Two._

But there was no more time.

_One._

You silently beg him not to hurt you too badly. Please. God, please.

_Zero._

“Yuu, I love you.”

_Zero._

His onyx eyes widen in surprise. His expression changes.

_Zer--_

The regret on his face says it all.

Ah.

Grief hurries to catch up with you, but time is winning the race. There was simply no more time, none spared by the carriage right outside the front entrance, waiting to take you away to live another life, the next life. You look at him softly, silently, drinking in the sight as you try to find the words to say goodbye.

_In five._


	2. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt fill on Tumblr!  
> “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“God, it’s hot out here.”

Lavi shot Kanda an inquisitive look. “Sure? I mean, it’s the pinnacle of summer, 37 degrees Celsius, and these jerseys have long-ass sleeves, so of course it’s hot.” His single emerald eye narrowed slyly. “Or maybe it’s just ‘cause Yuu is so  _friggin’ hot_ ~”

That earned the redhead a sharp jab in the ribs with the jabby end of a baseball bat. Lavi pouted and rubbed his smarting side as Kanda sipped generously from his water bottle. It was a scorching afternoon, the kind that soaked you down to your underwear and made your peripheral vision swim. Everything seemed to glow with a searing white light and it was making Kanda’s head throb painfully.

If Kanda could have his way, he would walk off the field right now and go stand under a cold shower for a while, but Lavi, his baseball club junior, happened to be the most persistent asshole he had ever met. The redhead followed him around for  _days,_  begging for a practice session and bombarding him with disgusting pet names and one-liners. Kanda had to relent on the premise that he was  _that close_  to actually giving his teammate a complete visual handicap for life.

_The fuck did I do to deserve this_ , thought the Japanese as he pulled the hem of his shirt up to wipe off his sweat. “Are you ready to start yet?” he asked. He looked up to catch Lavi’s gaze flitting quickly away from his exposed stomach.

“Trust me, Yuu, you’ll always put me in the mood to  _play ball_ ,” Lavi replied, lifting his eyebrows suggestively.

“Stop being gross,” snapped Kanda. “And stop fucking calling me that.” He wet his chapped lips and stood up.

Immediately he regretted it; standing made everything around him distort as if they were melting, and his baby headache suddenly evolved into a fully-grown migraine. He must have wavered on his feet because suddenly there was a hand on his arm, steadying him and pulling him back down to the bench.

“Yuu?” Lavi peered up into his face, uncharacteristically concerned. “You okay? You don’t look too hot, no pun intended. Are you getting a heat stroke?”

Kanda shook his head and put his hand over his eyes. “I’m fine,” he said hoarsely. He jumped when something cold touched the sweaty back of his neck. It took him a moment to realize it was Lavi gently pressing his cold water bottle to his skin.

The temperature rose too suddenly.

“Hey, if you’re not feeling well, we can skip practice today and do tomorrow,” suggested Lavi softly.

“We can’t do tomorrow,” Kanda retorted immediately. “Prelims are in two weeks. We can’t afford to waste even a day.”

“But—“

Kanda sighed heavily and shrugged Lavi’s hand off his arm. “Look, we wouldn’t even have to be here if you weren’t so shit, okay? Why don’t you stop complaining and just do what I say?”

Lavi had the grace to look offended. “Wait, nobody said I was bad at this, I may be slightly iffy at batting, but I only have one eye? I have a damn good throwing arm, if I say so myself—“

“Shut up and get on the damn field, loser.” Kanda stood and wobbled as best as he could to the home plate. As soon as he stepped out of the shade, the sun spared no mercy on his exposed skin. Fuck, it was so  _hot._

“I’m not playing with you when you look like shit, you stubborn mule!” Lavi called out to him. “Come out of the sun, Yuu!”

Maybe it was the egg-yolk ball of fire that lit Kanda’s fuse, but he was hot and  _pissed off_. The baseball was hard and heavy in his palm. His windup was almost instinctual, the release flawless. The highball popped, and Kanda squinted his eyes, watching the little white ball sail up, up up up….

“Yuu!”

And then everything was white.

 

An entire week had passed before Kanda found the courage to approach Lavi after practice. He waited until the redhead was alone after putting away the baseball gloves in the storage room. After he gave a little cough, Lavi turned around and looked at him in mild surprise for a brief moment before a cold expression settled on his face.

“To what do I owe this pleasure, Captain?” Lavi asked calmly.

Kanda averted his eyes and stared at his hands. He had woken up in the school infirmary with a raging fever and the club manager, Lenalee, by his bedside. She scolded him right off the bat, told him that Lavi had to drag him off the field, douse him in water, and piggyback him to get help. Lavi himself was on the verge of unconsciousness himself by the time they got the second-floor infirmary. Lenalee ended the tirade with a long lecture on his irresponsibility towards his own health and a threat to complain to the coach if he refused to comply.

After that, Kanda avoided contact with Lavi like a damn coward, unsure of how to approach the redhead. It had taken a lot of self-persuasion to do this. He took a deep breath and said: “About last week…”

Lavi crossed his arms and leaned casually against a shelf. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Kanda raised his eyes. It sounded like another one of his jokes, but Lavi’s tone was sarcastic and cool. His expression was a flat, unfriendly mask. It was such an unfamiliar look on the usually smiling face that Kanda looked away in discomfort.

“I.. justwantedtosayI’msorry,” Kanda mumbled quickly.

Lavi sighed and looked angrily away. “Forget it, Kanda.”                                  

“Lavi.”

When Lavi looked back up, Kanda was looking firmly at him.

“I’m sorry,” the Japanese said, maintaining eye contact with him so he could see Kanda meant it.

Lavi blinked at him for a long moment, and suddenly, the hardness in his face melted away like ice on a hot day. “So long as you’re not going to be an idiot when it comes to your own damn health, Yuu babe, I can forgive you. After all, I would faint over my own looks too.”

Kanda rolled his eyes and groaned, silently wondering how one could switch from angry to corny and cheery in the blink of an eye.

He stepped out of the storage room. It was hot. He looked at Lavi, stretching beside him, red hair like wildfire and a grin wide across his reddened cheeks. Heat crept slowly up Kanda’s neck.

Maybe the sun wasn’t the only thing burning him from the inside out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that prompt, it's a pretty Lavi thing to say! :D


	3. So When Are You Going To Tell Me You Love Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a companion piece to a-q-d‘s [prompt fill](https://a-q-d.tumblr.com/post/164306129588/oh-stars-i-cant-resist-sending-you-a-prompt-now) on Tumblr. It was Yulma, but I can’t help but feel for the typical supportive side characters, so here’s my LaviYuu sequel to it. It’s… very cheesy. Here's again a toast to you, Daph.

[](http://suicidetoro.tumblr.com/)“Yuu, are you- are you humming?”

Kanda jumped and immediately stopped humming. He looked up and his best friend, Lavi, was leaning against his apartment doorframe. It was Lavi’s 19thbirthday tomorrow, and he was throwing his customary birthday bash. Kanda had agreed to help him prepare for the next day.

The Japanese ignored him and came in. Lavi shut the door and cocked his head in curiosity. “You were humming just now, weren’t you?” he asked with a smug grin.

Kanda felt his cheeks heat up and shoved the huge box of decorations he was holding into Lavi’s arms. “No, I wasn’t. Get your fucking ears checked, loser,” he retorted, turning away and pulling his phone out.

“I have fantastic hearing, and you know it.” Lavi’s feet padded softly on the wooden floor behind Kanda. He stuck his chin over Kanda’s shoulder and peered at the screen.

“Hey!” Kanda yelled, swatting Lavi away. “Stop sticking your nose into other people’s business, won’t you?”

Lavi snorted. “Yeah, if I kept my nose to myself, you wouldn’t be dating Alma Karma, whom you are now texting. You should be thanking me for my matchmaking services! Where’s my award for best wingman??”

“You get an award for worst wingman, pushing me into the lion’s den like that,” Kanda grumbled, but he has to admit to himself that the other guy had a point. If Lavi hadn’t insistently pushed him to talk to Alma during his birthday party last year, Kanda wouldn’t have had the guts to ask Alma for a dance in a million years. One thing led to another, and before he knew it, they had been in a steady relationship for almost a year.

Lavi shuffled off to put the box on his kitchen table. “Well, got you a dance and a long-term relationship with said lion, so where’s the harm? So, what’s got you humming? Is he saying he’s going to dress very nicely for the party tonight?” he asked with a chuckle.

Kanda cleared his throat. “Uh, actually–” he began, but a sudden blaring of music from his phone intervened, followed by a polite knock on Lavi’s door.

Lavi looked at Kanda with raised eyebrows for a moment before he crossed the room to answer the door once again.

“Hey, Red!” Alma’s cheery voice filled the room. “I know it’s your birthday tomorrow, but Happy Birthday in advance!”  

Lavi’s shocked expression softened into a grin. “Hi Alma. What’s up?”

“Sorry, Lavi,” Kanda said apologetically behind him, walking to the door. “I forgot I have to go somewhere with Alma. I set the date weeks ago, and it just flew out of my mind.”

“Hey Yuu-chan!” said Alma, giving Kanda a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

Lavi’s gaze lingered for a moment on them, then it swooped over to the other side of the room and he waved a hand dismissively. “It’s fine. I can handle this by myself. Get out of here before you guys decide to do some icky shit in front of me. Shoo.”

He turned around and started to pull things out of the box. Kanda put a hand on his shoulder. “I really am sorry,” he said in a low tone.

Lavi laughed. “Nah, man, it’s cool. I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.”

He reached up and ruffled Kanda’s hair in a way that he knew annoyed the fuck out of the Japanese man. “You have fun, okay?” he said with a shit-eating grin. “Have a good time, and don’t forget to lock the door if you’re gonna be out all night.”

Kanda blushed and tried to smack Lavi’s hand away. “Nosy rabbit,” he muttered.

“Best wingman,” replied Lavi fondly.

A moment before Lavi dropped his hand, his expression changed, turning from a normal, good-natured smile into something unidentifiable. It was gone as quickly as it had come; in a flash, Lavi was shoving him out the front door and fistbumping Alma before closing it with a small click.

*****

Like every other year, there was good food, good music, and plenty of booze. People enjoyed the parties Lavi hosted, and he was pretty popular, so there wasn’t an inch of space between the bodies in the crowded apartment.

Except this year, the main man of the event went missing halfway through the night.

It was 10 pm, and Kanda stepped onto the dance floor, his eyes cutting everywhere in search of someone. Hot, sweaty skin pressed into his everywhere, and he had to elbow many an offending body part away from him. Alma was squeezing in next to him and saying something, but he couldn’t hear him over the deafening bass of the number being played. They yelled at each other and gesticulated wildly until Alma gave up. He laughed and gave Kanda a hug before retreating from the ocean of undulating bodies.

Kanda managed to shove his way through to the kitchen, where a few girls were sitting on the counter, chugging beer. They helpfully pointed him in the right direction. Kanda thanked them and escaped their flimsy attempts to flirt with him.

He found Lavi sitting in his small balcony, which was connected to his bedroom, away from the noise and mess that was the rest of his apartment. The redhead was staring up at the night sky with a drunken flush spread across his freckled cheeks, and he looked at Kanda with a half-open eye and a wistful smile.

“Yuu,” he said a little hoarsely, holding out his bottle of liquor in greeting. “Wha’ you doin’ here?”

Kanda looked him up and down. “Looking for you,” he replied simply.

Lavi giggled and caught his best friend’s wrist. “Sit down with me, buddy,” he slurred.

Kanda sat down, pressed so close next to Lavi in the small space that he could feel Lavi’s booze-induced body heat through his clothes.

“So,” Lavi said, grinning at him in a daze, “Now tha’ you found me, wha’s up?”

“You disappeared, so I looked for you.” Kanda shrugged. “It’s your party, you should be entertaining your guests.”

Lavi scoffed and took a swig of his drink. “Naw, they’re entertainin’ themselves just fine. Yuu, on the other hand, should be dancin’ with Alma now. How dare you leave your hot boyfriend out there by himself, Yuu? Don’t tell me you want me to be the wingman again.” He peered at Kanda with a pout.  

Kanda’s eyes are dark and unreadable as he gazes back at Lavi straight on. “Lavi, I want to ask you something,” he said seriously.

“Hmmmm?” asked Lavi, letting his head fall sideways onto Kanda’s shoulder sleepily.

“When are you going to tell me you love me?”

Lavi froze.

An awkward silence stretched between them, made strange in contrast to the dirty beat that boomed through the walls. Lavi’s head slowly swung away from Kanda and rested on his own knees instead, hiding his face away in the shadows.

“I already tell you all the time,” whispered the redhead, his muffled voice cracking slightly.

_“Man, I love you.” “Yuu, I love you my dude.” “God I love you, you grumpy piece of shit.”_

“No,” replied Kanda, his gaze gentle but firm on Lavi. “You know what I mean. You never said it the way you really mean it. Like you love me more than just a best friend.”

Lavi shook his head, his hair a moving blaze of dark crimson. “I would never do that to you and Alma. You guys are great together. You make a nice couple.”

“Alma and I broke up a few weeks ago.”

That got Lavi to finally look at Kanda, eye wide. “W-What? Why?” Lavi squeaked in astonishment. “But I saw him hugging you that day and he kissed you on the cheek!”

Kanda raised an elegant eyebrow. “Because even as a friend, he’s a very touchy-feely kind of guy. Don’t you do that all the time to me too?”

Lavi’s mouth opened and shut without a retort, because he did, in fact, do that all the time. At least, he used to do it all the time until Kanda got together with Alma. Lavi drew his brows together in confusion. “Why?” he asked again.

Kanda observed him in silence, his intense gaze making Lavi’s palms sweat and his heart pound fit to rip out of his chest. Slowly, Kanda reached into his jeans pocket to fish out a small box. Lavi didn’t see what was in it; his gaze was transfixed on Kanda’s eyes, mysterious sapphires that looked deep enough to drown in.

“Because,” Kanda said gently, reaching behind Lavi’s neck, “You went out of your way to get me the boy I wanted, but you didn’t think I noticed the way you looked when I was dancing with Alma that night. I couldn’t get the sight of your crushed expression out of my mind. I didn’t understand at first, but slowly, it got to me more and more.” Kanda laughed softly. “It didn’t really hit me, what I was feeling, until the day Alma broke up with me. Do you know what he said to me?”

When Lavi shook his head in mute haziness, Kanda pressed his lips directly against the blush-pink shell of his ear.

“He said, “So, when are you going to tell Lavi you love him?””

Lavi’s breath left his lungs in a shaky exhale.

“So,” continued Kanda, hands sliding from the back of Lavi’s neck to the sides of his face, so close that his breath warmed Lavi’s lips, “Because I got so tangled up in my emotions, I forgot to get you a present. I had to call Alma in on an emergency yesterday so we could look for one.”

Lavi stared, starstruck, as he reached up to touch the metal wing pendant that lay on his collarbone.

Kanda smirked. “You really are the worst wingman. You pushed me into the lion’s den. I guess it turns out that the lion was you.”

Lavi blinked slowly and a beautiful smile crept onto his face. “So, when are you going to tell me that you love me, Yuu?” he asked breathlessly.

And Kanda leaned forward to tell him in a way without words.


	4. Violent and Possessive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this like forever ago on Tumblr for a Fake Exes prompt fill. It's not really noteworthy, but I just wanna keep tabs on my one-shots, so here it is, crappy as it is...
> 
> “My current partner is a huge asshole and I need to dump them so will you please pretend to be my violent and possessive ex.”

Kanda liked Thursdays. Meaning to say, he hated that day slightly less than he hated every other day of the week. Thursday was the there-but-not-quite day that was after midweek but before the abomination of no-work-really-gets-done-in-the-office, monster-traffic-jams-after-7pm Fridays. He also hated Fridays because they usually meant double shift at the clothing store he worked at. So, yes, he preferred Thursdays.

Except this particular Thursday on which he caught sight of a flash of obscene red just before he got bodily tackled from behind by someone who can ruin his good mood instantly.

“Heyyyy Yuu-chan!” A redhead slightly taller than Kanda slung his arms around his neck and gave him a wide goofy grin. The Japanese’s face darkened like a thunderstorm and he shrugged the other man off him violently.

“Just my fucking luck I had to see your goddamn face today. ” Kanda mumbled darkly. His Thursday was ruined.

“D'awwww c'mon, y’ see m'gorgeous face almost everyday!” the redhead chirped happily. “Anyway, I came looking for you ‘cause I need ya help!”

“No. ”

“Yuuuuuuuu!” whined Lavi pathetically, drawing his eyebrows and scrunching his face into a disgusting pleading face. “Y’ haven’t even heard what ’m asking for!!” He grabbed Kanda’s shoulders and looked straight at him. “Thing is, I went on my first date with Allen Walker from Chem last week, and it was shit. All the time we were at the record shop, he was just talking to and looking at Lenalee! It was like I wasn’t even there! And the little punk has the guts t’ ask me out again! He’s clearly just using me t’ get close to her! ”

Kanda scowled uncaringly. ‘Then just dump his ass, dimwit!“

“I can’t! He has t’ break it up with me first!” Then Lavi clamped a hand over his mouth.

Kanda’s eyebrows raised in suspicion. “And why the fuck is that, usagi?” he asked in a dangerous tone that would have made the Statue of Liberty shiver.

Lavi’s green eye cut nervously away. “It was a bet.”, he mumbled sheepishly. 

“Tch, what? That you can’t last three dates without dumping a guy? Well you can’t, can you?” Kanda snapped sardonically. Lavi was known throughout campus as a gay flirtatious asshole who casually dated plenty of guys but never saw anyone for long. Kanda has long heard about the rumours of this particular bet Lavi had going on with Daisya.

“No!” Lavi protested with a pout. “I just didn’t like those guys before. I tried dating them, really I did, but they weren’t right. Anyway, I really, really need someone t’ pretend t’ be my violent and possessive ex and steal me away from that varmint on our date tomorrow night. And you!” Lavi looked Kanda up and down, “Who can be more violent and possessive than Yuu?? They probably got a large portrait of your pretty face under the Wiki page for Violent and Possessive!”

Kanda rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I don’t care. Don’t involve me in your idiotic romantic problems. And don’t you dare call me pretty again or I’ll smash your ugly face in.” He started to push away, but Lavi grabbed him and refused to budge. People gathered to watch as Kanda started to drag a loudly begging Lavi who was clinging onto his leg through the hall.

“Please please Yuuuuu! ”

“Damare, bakayarou! You’re making a fucking scene and a gigantic fool of yourself!”

“’m not letting go till y’ say yes!! Please, Yuu, I’ll do anything you want for an entire month, I swear! ”

“Fine!” snarled Kanda finally, crudely wrenching his leg away from the whining usagi. “You better keep your fucking promises. After this, I don’t want you looking for me, or sending me ridiculous texts at 3am, or so much as appear in front of my eyes for a month, you got that?”

“Loud and clear, boss!” Lavi attempted to throw a salute and ended up on the tiles as the Japanese stalked away with a huff.

* * *

-Friday, 6.17 p.m.

> **Hey Yuu, have u thought of what 2 wear 2nite? Doll up ok? :))))**

_wtf no why the fck would i dress up 4 ur stupid stageplay_

> **Lol, because we need 2 make Allen super jelly of my hot, violent ex, duh!**

_no_

> **Yuuuuuaksdasdfhgf :(**

_fck off_

> **Why not?? ;_; Is it cause u got no nice clothes?? It’s ok, I can lend you my jeans, it’ll make your ass look like a mil $$$$**

_fck no i got my own clothes i dont need ur fugly shit what time ltr_

> **Meet me @ Mil Rec @ 8pm. ILY YUU MUAHX =3=**

_stfu_

Kanda grimaced and chucked his cellphone on his bed. He threw open his wardrobe door. Everything he owned was in various shades of dark blue, gray and black. He hated social gatherings and avoided them with fervor, so why would he own anything remotely fancy? He frowned and pulled out an old pair of jeans that had seen better days. Luckily for him, aid arrived in the form of his best friend poking his head into his room.

“Sup Yuu, can I borrow your Algebra… why are you looking at those pants all funny-like?”

Kanda sighed in relief and turned to the other guy. “Alma, I need to borrow your clothes.”

Alma’s eyebrows shot skywards. “What’s the occasion? Is it Tiedoll blackmailing you to wear something nice for a family gathering again?”

Kanda scowled in irritation and swatted at Alma. “No.”

“Then what?” Suddenly, Alma pressed his hands to his mouth and stepped back in dramatic shock. “Fuck me in the ass sideways and call me Judy. You’re going on a date.”, he said breathlessly.

“What the fuck?! It’s not a–” Kanda began to bark, but Alma cut in frantically.

“Okay, okay! You’ll never admit it anyway! Whatever! But you’re not going to go in that old rag.” Alma beamed at him brightly. “I’ll loan you my special Fuck Me outfit. It’ll get you laid in sixty minutes, I swear.”

“I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT–” But Alma was already on his way out the door, his knowing laugh booming across the dorm hallway.

* * *

By the time Kanda arrived at Millennium Rec, the records shop that Lavi worked part-time at, the redhead rabbit was already there, chatting with his colleague Lenalee Lee and a familiar-looking boy with startling white hair and a neat blue suit. Lavi himself had decided to dress up a little, an olive green military shirt unbuttoned over a tight white tank top that clung to his chest and abs and scruffy dark jeans. A red checkered scarf that matched his crimson hair slung around his hips like a triangular kilt. He looked up and began to wave to Kanda, but when the Japanese grew closer, that hand grew still and dropped pitifully to his side as he gaped at Kanda.

Alma’s special 100%-chance-of-getting-laid outfit turned out to be shiny, spanking black leather. Kanda was wearing a black leather jacket with a huge fur hood over a light gray tee with monochrome tribal patterns on the hem. The front of the shirt was hip-length, but the back of it was cropped short, leaving a stripe of pale bare skin that dipped gently into the curve of his pants deliciously visible. His awesome jeans were slashed around the upper thighs and knees, exposing teasing bits of skin here and there and, being Alma’s, were one size smaller than Kanda, thus stretching shiny and sinfully hugging his muscular ass. His long lean legs stretched forever in those jeans and ended in short black combat boots. For once, he decided against tying his hair up and left it hanging in a neat ebony curtain around his face.

Lavi’s jaw dropped. Lenalee’s jaw dropped. Allen’s jaw dropped. Six eyes stared as wide as saucers at the gorgeous body of the stoic man who usually never wandered out in anything fancier than a button-up shirt and ratty jeans. Lavi was immediately thankful he had the checkered scarf around his waist hiding his semi from public view. Kanda scowled and made a pointed roll of eyes towards Allen. Scrambling to collect himself, Lavi jumped to his feet. 

“Y-Yuu?” he stuttered, not entirely acting.

Kanda’s sapphire eyes narrowed. “What are you… doing?” he asked icily and with no small amount of awkwardness.

“Lavi, you know this guy?” Allen asked bewildered, still staring at Kanda. 

Lavi gulped and nodded. “He’s Kanda Yuu, my… ex-boyfriend.”

Both Lenalee and Allen gasped, and the Chinese girl shot Lavi a look of confusion. Not wanting her to let the cat out of the bag, Lavi quickly stepped up to Kanda and grabbed his arm gently.

“Dude, you can’t stalk me every time I try to date another guy! We’re over!” he exclaimed theatrically, tugging Kanda’s arm.

 Kanda took a deep breath and flung Lavi’s hand away roughly. “Don’t you fucking tell me what to do,” he growled. His piercing eyes shifted to Allen, and he moved until he was standing right in front of the white-haired boy. 

“Who the hell is this?” he asked Lavi with poison in his voice as he gave the smaller dude the most condescending look he could muster.

Allen sobered up and furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m Allen Walker, the guy Lavi is  _currently_  dating.”, he replied with just a hint of cockiness.

Kanda swung his piercing gaze to Lavi. “You’re dating  _this_ beansprout?” he asked in an insulting tone, “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Hey!” Allen poked a finger into Kanda’s chest. “It’s Allen to you, and why can’t he date me? Lavi can date whoever the hell he wants. Didn’t you hear him say you two are history?” 

Kanda’s gaze sharpened and he puffed up his chest and leaned closer, a heavy aura of challenge clouding around him. “Listen here, Mo.Ya. Shi.”, he said slowly and menacingly. He grabbed Lavi’s hand by the wrist and held it up like a prize. “He's mine.”

Lavi squeaked and Lenalee made a noise between a surprised shriek and an gleeful squeal. She pressed her hand to her mouth, but her eyes gleamed excitedly as she absorbed all the homo drama. 

Allen suddenly clutched Kanda’s arm that was holding Lavi’s wrist. “Yo  _BaKanda_ , give it up. You don’t like him as much as I do.”

“Says who, pipsqueak?” asked Kanda violently as he shrugged Allen’s hand off.

“Yeah? What do you like about him then?”

Kanda froze. This wasn’t part of the script. He looked at Lavi for help, but the redhead was looking back at him with a flushed look of embarrassment. He gave Kanda a small shrug.

“Er…” said the Japanese. The smug look on Allen’s face intensified, and that was what spurred Kanda’s act on. “He… looks nice.”

Lavi gave him a weird, unreadable expression. Lenalee made the feminine equivalent of a mega facepalm. Allen smirked. “That’s it?”

“And he…” Kanda raked his mind for ideas. “He is really smart. And a gentleman. And sometimes he surprises me by being very considerate. That’s…nice.” 

“You don’t sound very sure, Kanda,” egged Allen, “Are you sure you really love–”

At his wits’ end now, Kanda’s fuse blew. He wanted to get this whole thing over with. With an exasperated growl, he grabbed Lavi by the shirt collar and pressed his mouth hard over the other’s.

Lavi’s eyes grew to the size of the moon. Lenalee barely suppressed her girly shriek and began to snap pictures of them in her phone. Allen was staring wide-eyed at them, but there was a huge grin on his face for some reason. Something was wrong.

However, before Kanda realized the implication of Allen’s reaction, he felt the pressure on his lips increase as Lavi’s eyelashes fluttered close. A strong hand pressed against the back of his neck, another fluttered lightly on his jawline, pulling him closer, and Lavi’s lips shifted slightly, deepening their contact. Kanda felt like suddenly the entire world had suddenly constricted to this, the two of them locked in a kiss that was wrong but somehow more than just a little pleasant. When he tried to press back and disengage, Lavi pulled harder on him, trying to dominate, and in their struggle their tongues were touching and hot breaths mixed in their joined mouths and Kanda almost forgot they were not alone until Allen gave a little cough.

It felt like he had a taken a short trip to another planet and back when Lavi finally let go and they broke apart, panting slightly. Kanda was vaguely aware that his face and neck were on fire and pulled the collar of his leather jacket away from his skin. He stared at Allen, who was smiling smugly as if he had won something. What the…

Still smiling, Allen patted Lavi on the back. “You win this one, punk. Enjoy it, you lucky bastard.” And he and Lenalee laughed as they linked hands and walked ever so casually out of the shop. 

An awkward silence fell as Kanda digested what had just happened. Realization slowly dawned on him, and he slowly turned to glare angrily at Lavi, who was backing away slowly, sweat pouring down his neck. Before the redhead could run, he grabbed his collar again. 

“WHAT. THE. FUCK.”

“Yuu, listen, I can explain–”

“The one you had a bet with was Moyashi. You fucking bet that you could get me to kiss you. You little fucker–”

“God Yuu, I’m sorry, don’t kill me–”

“Fuck it.” Kanda roughly released him and turned around to make a swift exit, but a hand caught him by the wrist. Lavi looked at him with a genuine look of contrite and desperation.

“I’m really sorry, Yuu,” said Lavi in a meek voice, looking soulfully at Kanda, “I really didn’t think that you would do it. You may think this whole thing is just a joke to me, but it isn’t. I’ve wanted to kiss you for months now, but I never… This entire bet was me trying to determine if I would ever have a shot with you. Just you saying that you liked me, no matter if it was just a lie, was enough for me. I wouldn’t in a million years have thought that you would actually kiss me. I swear on the name of the Bookman line, I’m not making this up.”

He let go of Kanda’s wrist and looked down at his feet as if he was about to cry. “I’m sorry that I fucked up… Please don’t hate me… I love you…”

Kanda’s eyes were as cold as frozen pools. “You’re a fucking idiot. Of course I hate you.”

Lavi closed his eye to prevent the hurt from showing, so he didn’t see Kanda’s face descending on him until he felt a press of warmth over his lips.

* * *

_I’ve kept my word, sir. As of 9.31 pm today, it’s been precisely 30 days since I last saw or spoke 2 u, just like our bargain says._

> **u dipshit u left written notes in my locker every fcking day**

_That doesn’t count!!! YUU I HAVEN’T SEEN U 4EVER AND I’M DYING ;A;;;;_

> **U ALSO STALK ME EVERY DAY DONT THINK I DONT FCKING C U**

_YUU PLS I’LL DO ANYTHING_

> **good cause i know what you can do for the next month**

Lavi was in the middle of typing  **WHAT**  when someone knocked on his room door. He opened it to find his ex-ex-boyfriend leaning against the doorframe with a devilish gleam in his eye.

> **me**


	5. The Smile on Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prompt fill for SamuraiKanda, who said this: "how about a OS about Yuuvi, where Kanda and Lavi somehow switch their bodies".  
> My dude, I live to fill this kind of prompts. Thank you kindly for requesting!  
> PS I have no excuses for making up shit titles haha kick my ass pls

Kanda felt off even before he opened his eyes.

You know that feeling you have when you jerk awake from an incredibly long and vivid dream without it being resolved? That kind of felt like what he was feeling. There was an unexplained ache in his chest that took a few moments of half-wakefulness to dull and fade away.

When he tried to open his eyes, he got a nasty shock.

His left eye was fine, he could see the ceiling with it, but all he could see on his right was a black shadow. There was a slight pressure on the right eye, like it was being covered by something. Annoyed and a little frightened, Kanda batted at the thing until it shifted away.

The light that poured in through his right eye was blinding. Kanda groaned and immediately shut both eyes. Christ almighty. What the fuck happened to his eye all of a sudden? He slowly blinked until his vision regained some semblance of normalcy.

Grumbling, he sat up and rubbed at his temples, which were throbbing from the visual hiccup. He looked down, and saw that the thing that had been blocking his eye was a black eyepatch. _Lavi’s_ black eyepatch.

Not to mention, he was… naked. From the waist up.

 _And_ he was in the bed next to the wall, which Lavi had jumped and called dibs on the previous night.

Son of an Akuma. The rabbit bastard thought it was bloody funny to put his silly eyepatch on Kanda, steal his shirt and switch beds during the night. Why the fuck didn’t Kanda feel a goddamn thing when that happened? _Somebody’s getting hurt today,_ he thought viciously as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up.

The floor tilted and suddenly getting out of bed was a bad, bad idea. Kanda squeezed his eyes shut again and gritted his teeth. His right eye was still feeling weird, and now his headache was joining in on the fun. Great. He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation and—

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

His fingers, accustomed to combing through his waist-long hair, felt empty _way too quickly_. His fucking… hair… was short.

Lavi fucking _cut his hair._

Mugen was already drawn when he looked across the room—

Promptly, his jaw dropped open.

Kanda gaped at the sight of _himself_ sprawled starfish-like on the other bed, long black hair fanning over the sheets, mouth open in quiet snores. It was surreal.

Kanda might not have looked at himself closely in the mirror often, but he could definitely fucking recognize _his goddamn self._

Was this what it was like to have an out-of-body experience? Or, some kind of dream he was having. Lavi had disappeared, and now he was looking at his own sleeping body. Honestly, maybe he liked this dream.

Unless--

 _No._ Kanda took a step back, mind reeling from the shock. He resisted the urge to pinch himself to wake up. _No no no no no._ Dazed, he stumbled to the washbasin and looked into the mirror.

The clear reflection of a handsome, horrified face topped with an eagle’s nest of red hair greeted him. Kanda stared speechlessly at Lavi’s face, refusing to believe what he was seeing.

Fuck this.

“Get up!” roared Kanda, storming across the room and yanking the – Lavi-wearing-his-face person up by the forearms. The – his-face-person opened his deep blue eyes slowly and yawned, releasing a stink of morning breath almost directly into Kanda’s (Lavi’s!!) face.

“Y-Yuu?” the person slurred. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

Kanda groaned. It wasn’t a dream.

It was a fucking nightmare.

* * *

It took them some horrified yelling and shocked staring until they had finally calmed down enough to talk about it. Kanda had pulled on a shirt (his own damn shirt, mind) and sat cross-armed on his bed, whereas Lavi perched on the other bed and stared owlishly at him.

The first thing that came out of his mouth after a stretched period of silence was:

“Damn, I look good.”

Kanda immediately flung a pillow at him, which he avoided with the practiced skill of one used to avoiding things thrown at them.

“Damn it. Why the fuck is this happening?” Kanda asked angrily, glaring daggers at the other Exorcist.

“I don’t know!” squeaked Lavi, raising his hands in surrender. “Maybe it’s the Innocence we found a few days ago??”

Kanda stared at him with dawning realization. “That damn thing!” he exclaimed, “After all the trouble we went through to find it!”, for they had followed convoluted reports and false leads for a whole week until they finally found it in the house of a strange old couple. The old lady and her husband chuckled knowingly before handing it over to them.

Lavi seemed to be thinking the same thing as Kanda. “It seemed like the old couple knew this was going to happen, and thought it would make a funny scenario. Well, they weren’t wrong…”

Kanda chucked the other pillow at him, and this time it hit Lavi square in the face (his face!). When he sat up, Lavi was _grinning. With his face._

“Stop that!” growled Kanda, giving the other man a look of disgust.

“Stop what?” asked Lavi, eyes wide in bewilderment.

“ _Smiling_ ,” spat Kanda. “It looks fucking gross. Stop it.”

Lavi’s Kanda-face made a small ‘o’ of surprise, then he leapt off the bed and dashed to the mirror at the washbasin. Before Kanda could protest, he was smiling at himself with Kanda’s face, and looked as if he had discovered some long-hidden treasure.

“Oh my god, Yuu,” he said in wonder, “You definitely need to smile more. Look at this! You look like a majestic bastard!”

“Shut up!” demanded Kanda, jumping to his feet. “And don’t you dare make funny f---”

But it was too late; Lavi was already experimenting with his Kanda-face with crossed eyes and a protruding tongue. The only thing that held Kanda back from decking Lavi was the fact that that was _his_ face and body, and since they would be exchanging bodies again _very soon,_ it was not worth it to damage himself. So, he put his hand on Mugen’s scabbard, ready to scare the rabbit into stopping the fucking funny faces.

Except, his touch on Mugen felt wrong, like putting on someone else’s shoes. Kanda blinked at his Innocence and silently tried to activate it.

Nothing.

Lavi looked at him carefully, smiles and weird faces gone, probably noticing that Mugen’s despondence was actually causing Kanda a major internal crisis. “Is- Is Mugen not responding to you?” he asked nervously.

Kanda shook his head. Wordlessly, he handed it to Lavi. Lavi scrunched his brow, inhaled deeply, and touched Mugen.

Nothing.

Both of them let out an explosive sigh of relief. Kanda couldn’t even begin to comprehend the level of fucked-up he would feel if Mugen responded to _Lavi_ , of all people.

Lavi reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the tiny black hammer that was his Innocence and held it out. “Here, try touching Ozuchi Kozuchi,” he said.

Kanda eyed him skeptically as he touched the shaft of the hammer.

Once again, nothing.

“This isn’t working--” began Kanda, but suddenly, there was a deep voice in his head, clear and heavy as the toll of a large and ancient bell. It moved him to his very core. He listened, and he heard.

_Tetsui, grow._

The hammer vibrated under his hand for a moment, then expanded rather suddenly, stopping when the head was roughly the size of a suitcase. It weighed more than it looked though.

Feeling triumphant, Kanda looked up, expecting to brag about it to a salty Lavi, only to find the rabbit boy looking at him with a large, genuine smile and shining eyes. The look wasn’t bad on Kanda’s pretty face, and Kanda was unable to tear his eyes away from his own goddamn mug for a second.

“I knew she would accept you if I asked her to! Good girl!” said Lavi excitedly, patting the head of the hammer like it was a big dog.

“You… talk to your Innocence?” Kanda sputtered in surprise.

Lavi nodded. “Of course I do, in my head. Don’t you?”

“None of your business,” snapped Kanda, looking abruptly away. He had never tried to –talk- to Mugen, despite feeling very attached to it. Mugen was a sword, an Innocence, not a person or animal with a mind of its own. He should find it a very silly notion to talk to your own weapon.

But, well, it has long been established that Lavi was stupid and most likely talked to his books and quills and probably even his socks, so Kanda shouldn’t be a bit surprised.

“Well, you’re going to have some difficulty controlling her since she’s only temporarily giving you the reins, she’s a feisty lass, but at least one of us has a proper weapon to fight with,” said Lavi casually. “As for me, I guess I’ll just use Mugen to stab things like a pitchfork.”

“Don’t compare Mugen to a pitchfork, for god’s sake,” sighed Kanda.

“Like a toothpick, then.”

Kanda leapt up and gave chase, but Lavi was already halfway to the door, whooping with laughter.

* * *

Needless to say, their Finder Jonathan was a very surprised man. He stared at Lavi. He stared at Kanda. For variety, he stared at them some more. He probably would have made a snarky comment, but Kanda shot him a murderous glare (something that he could apparently still do even with Lavi’s face) and the Finder was a man who valued his own life, so he shut up and accepted it. Throughout the next day, he made special care to refer to them by their actual names. It was easier to remember that the one who acted grouchy was Kanda, and the friendly one was Lavi. Still, the poor man jumped every time Lavi came too close and spoke to him.

They travelled through the town and made their way through the woods, which led back to the port where they would take a ship back to the Headquarters. It was a tiring journey to hack through the foliage and hike uphill, so when they found a small clearing near nightfall, they gratefully called it a day and settled down to rest.

Kanda had slept for maybe four hours when he was suddenly jerked awake by a swift and dull pain in his face. It took a moment to identify that it was in his right eye. He pressed a palm over it and grunted in annoyance.

“Yuu?” came a whisper from the darkness.

Kanda opened his left eye. He was sleeping facing the small campfire that was still smoldering with its dying embers, and on his left, he could see the faint outline of Lavi turning over to look at him.

“Is the eye hurting?” Lavi asked him quietly.

“It isn’t. Go back to sleep, rabbit,” Kanda muttered, turning over.

There was some shuffling, and suddenly gentle, wet warmth was pressing onto the lid of the eye. Kanda jumped and opened the left one, looking blearily up at the shadowy figure hovering over him.

“What--” he asked, but Lavi shushed him back into silence and began to run his fingers in Kanda’s unnaturally short hair.

“Shh. I wet a cloth and warmed it by the fire a bit. It always helps with the pain,” Lavi explained softly. “You should wear the eyepatch tomorrow. It will hurt again if you use it too much.”

Kanda made a grumbling sound, but his complaining was overcome by the soothing heat of the cloth and the feeling of Lavi’s fingers in his hair. The pain disappeared soon enough and he lapsed into fitful sleep.

Lavi made no mention of what had transpired when they woke up early the next morning to pack up, but when he walked past Kanda, he greeted the Japanese with a sleepy smile and pressed the eyepatch into Kanda’s hand.

Kanda could not shake the feeling that he was getting used to seeing his own smiling face.

* * *

Kanda splashed his face with cold water and did his best to wash off the dirt and grime of hard travel. They had journeyed for the last three days on sea and finally touched down again on familiar land. It was exhausting, partially due to the stress of having to deal with a different body. Lavi’s body was a bit less muscled, but he was slightly taller and heavier, and Kanda was really feeling the extra pounds.

Also, Lavi’s body was mortal, Kanda realized as he gazed into the mirror. His eyes scored over the multitude of pale scars that marred Lavi’s torso, the sparse freckles that spread across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. Even though he had noticed that Lavi took very good care of his hands and fingers, almost to the point of never taking off those stupid gloves, there were still faint lines of battle pressed into his arms and wrists. Scars were a foreign concept to Kanda, who was used to an unnaturally perfect body, so he took his time running his fingers tentatively over the raised lines on Lavi’s skin.

Finally, he touched the eye that gave him so much trouble. Wearing the eyepatch did make it hurt less, but also, seeing everything in only two dimensions made it hard to walk straight without misjudging the distance between him and something else and crashing into it. Twice in the past few days he had bumped into something or someone, and only Lavi forcefully steering him away had avoided a real tantrum from developing.

Now that he looked at the troublesome eye, he could see that it wasn’t green like the left one, but a rusty shade of amber with a few flecks of gold. It was truly an oddity, and Kanda couldn’t help but wonder--

The eye throbbed, and Kanda quickly put the eyepatch back on. Best not to know. He put on his shirt and hurried out to meet the other two men.

Lavi and Jonathan were sitting at the bar downstairs, already dressed to leave but unwilling to let go of their drinks. Lavi had let Kanda’s long inky hair loose and flowing down the side of his face, attracting the interested looks of a few women (and men) around. Unlike Kanda, Lavi loved attention, so he twirled a lock of hair around his finger in a disgustingly pretty way as he talked to the Finder.

“Yuu!” he called out jovially once Kanda approached them. “Sit down for a drink before we go!”

Kanda thrust his hand out. “My hair tie,” he demanded tersely.

Lavi looked innocently at him before holding up his hand. Tied around his wrist in a braid was the red hair tie. Kanda ripped it off and began to tie his own black hair up into its usual ponytail. It was sloppy, but it got the job done.

Lavi was gaping at him with blush-pink cheeks by the time he was done. A few other people around them were also gaping at the apparent intimacy of the act. All these signs, of course, sailed over Kanda’s head as he finished and sat down with a huff.

“I like your hair down better,” Lavi said with a pout.

Kanda scowled at him. “Fuck no. It’s so long, it gets in the way when you’re fighting. And it looks too pre--”

Uh oh. He was almost going to admit that he thought Lavi looked too pretty with his hair down. That was a weird thought, because Kanda would be saying that he himself looked pretty with his hair down? Like… that was strange to think about. So he did not want to think about it. He distracted himself by grabbing a mug and draining it dry.

A barmaid sashayed her way over with a tray. “What’ll it be, boys?” she asked, winking at Lavi. The rabbit perked up and grinned, his eyes roving over her waist and hips appreciatively.

“I’ll have a taste of that fine… ale, if you please,” he said suggestively, causing Kanda to groan inwardly.

“Leave him,” said Kanda in irritation, “He’s drunk as a skunk.”

The barmaid giggled sweetly and leaned forward so Lavi could look down her cleavage. “Sure, honeybunch. I’ll give you a sweet taste of something you’ve never tried before.”

In a flash, Kanda’s right eye burned as if someone had stabbed it with a hot poker, and he leapt to his feet, howling in pain. A split second later, Jonathan screamed as the barmaid opened her mouth to reveal a cannon pointing directly at Lavi’s wide eyes.

A loud boom resounded, and Kanda was thrown off his feet. He felt himself crash painfully into wood, breaking it, and debris showered into him. There were people screaming all over the place, overlaying the sound of glass breaking and wood splintering into bits.

Finally, Kanda recollected himself and opened his eye. The bar he was just in had a gigantic hole in the wrecked right wall now, showing him a view of the street outside. Crumbling corpses showered in black stars lay askew inside and outside of the bar.

Shit, where was Lavi? Jonathan? The Akuma?

Kanda took Tetsui from Lavi’s thigh holster and willed it to activate. The hammer glowed green and grew, but only to the rough size of a table. It was already proving too heavy for Kanda to use properly, but he heaved it up and looked around, waiting for the next attack. Except for the screams of some villagers still alive and fleeing into the streets, it was deadly silent. There was no Akuma in sight.

Kanda trudged through the broken debris from the partially collapsed building, intent on getting to the street outside, but then he looked down and saw himself – Lavi- lying broken on the floor.

Kanda cursed loudly. Of course Lavi had been hit; he had been too hopeful to think that Lavi had escaped unscathed after he’d been shot by an Akuma at that distance. He knelt down to examine the wounds. There was a huge chunk of flesh gone from his smoldering shoulder. Somehow, Lavi had avoided a head-on shot then.

For a moment, Kanda’s stomach dropped at the sight of the gruesome wound, but then he remembered that Lavi was in _his_ body.

Surely enough, the wound started to smoulder, and Lavi came back to consciousness with a loud scream of agony. Kanda cursed again and clamped his hand over Lavi’s bloodied mouth. Wherever the Akuma was right then, he didn’t want it to come for them. He dragged Lavi’s writhing body to the back of the bar with some difficulty.

By then, Lavi was sobbing in pain, tears streaking down his face as his shoulder burned in the process of healing.

Kanda frowned solemnly at him. “I know how it hurts, but you have to stay quiet, or it might come at us again, and I can’t fight it alone, you hear?” he said in a low voice.

Lavi nodded through his pain. He grabbed onto Kanda’s shirt and tried his best to muffle his own whimpering. After ten minutes, the intense burning had faded as the healing stopped, and Lavi let go to pant heavily against Kanda’s leg.

“God,” he said hoarsely. “Christ deliver us all, that was terrible. It hurts like that every time?” When Kanda nodded silently, he turned his face into the Japanese Exorcist’s leg and groaned. “That sucks. I’m never going through that shit again.”

Kanda glared at him with a hard, flat expression. “I don’t have a choice,” he said harshly.

Immediately, Lavi sat up and put his hands on Kanda’s shoulders. “Oh, Yuu. I’m sorry,” he said softly, peering apologetically up into Kanda’s eye. “Yuu, I’m sorry I said that. I’m sorry.”

Kanda wasn’t in the mood to stay mad long. He waved Lavi off. “It’s fine. We have more important matters to take care of.”

Lavi looked like he wasn’t finished. In fact, he looked like he had something important to say. “I--”

Without warning, something crashed into the counter, almost hard enough to punch a hole right through it. The two Exorcists ducked and scrambled out of their blown cover, and not a moment too soon. There was the familiar whine of an Akuma cannon, and the counter was blasted into smithereens that splintered into their skin. They ran for it and took cover behind an overturned table.

“Shit! Yuu, use Tetsui!” shouted Lavi over the sound of the cannon recharging.

“I can barely fucking lift it, let alone use it!” Kanda shouted back, wishing desperately for the steady, reassuring feel of Mugen activated in his hands.

“Doesn’t matter, just use it as a shield! Now!”

Kanda swung the hammer in front of them just in time for the next cannon shot to blow through the brittle table, no doubt saving him and Lavi from certain death. He continued to carry the heavy Innocence as a shield as they backed away and escaped onto the street, where they felt less cornered.

As soon as they came out in the open, the Akuma emerged, a grotesque doll compared to the sweet barmaid it was posing as, and attacked them fervently. Kanda used Tetsui to the best of his abilities to deflect the Akuma’s blows, but then it found out that Lavi was basically unarmed and started attacking him instead. The apprentice Bookman seemed to have some basic training and was hanging on by the skin of his teeth by using Mugen like an ordinary sword. It was clumsy, but kept him alive as he struggled to deflect and dodge the Akuma’s attacks.

It was still busy attacking Lavi when Kanda snuck up on it to try and hit it with Tetsui. Unfortunately, it suddenly swung back to him and took him by surprise with a harsh blow to his ribs. Kanda heard a sickening crack as he was thrown backwards. He landed on the pavement and coughed up a mouthful of blood.

“Fuck, Yuu!” shouted Lavi in concern. His guard dropped for a second, the Akuma turned around and delivered a kick into his stomach. Lavi doubled over and crumpled to the ground with a loud groan.

Kanda could only watch blearily as the Akuma approached him. He tried valiantly to stand, but the monster cut him down with a slash across the back, and he was down and out.

He was in Lavi’s mortal, human body, a body which did not heal itself. He was going to die. In Lavi’s body, of all things. Kanda literally could not pick a worse way to die.

Everything was sounding far away now, the screaming and breaking and all other sounds leaving him behind. He focused on Lavi lying on the ground, hand outstretched to him, mouth open in a silent shout.

His right eye burned and burned, so he closed his eyes, and let death finally claim him.

“NO!!”

In a jerk, Kanda felt himself torn away from his body, and then it was all darkness.

* * *

When he came to, it was to someone shaking his shoulder.

He groaned and opened his eyes. Jonathan the Finder, looking bruised and bloodied but alive, looked down at him worriedly.

“Lavi. Lavi, wake up.”

He blinked and shook his head slowly. “No…” he muttered, “Kan…”

Jonathan’s eyes grew wide. “Kanda? If this is you, in your own body, then that’s…”

_In… your own… body?_

Kanda struggled to sit up. With some help from Jonathan, he managed. He looked up, and all he could see was a heap of charred remains in the middle of a ring of smoking bricks, looking for all the world as if God had sent a column of fire down from the sky to fry the Akuma where it stood.

A little further, a red-haired body lay on the ground in a pool of blood.

“What the hell happened?” Kanda mumbled in shock. His fingers clasped around something, and he opened his hand to look at it.

It was the Innocence that they had found, the one that had put them into this mess into the first place, pulsing innocently in his hand.

Fuck.

Kanda flung the damned thing at Jonathan and got up to run to Lavi. _Please, let this stupid asshole be alive,_ he prayed as he checked Lavi’s pulse.

A weak thump.

Another weak thump.

Kanda’s heart thumped in sync with it as he sat back and let the relief wash over him as it began to drizzle overhead.

* * *

 

A few days later, Komui was peering skeptically at Kanda over a sheaf of paper. “So,” the scientist said slowly, “What you are saying is that the Akuma basically self-combusted.”

Kanda crossed his arms indignantly. “I don’t know what happened to it,” he deadpanned. “One moment there, next moment a burning pile on the ground.”

“Ah.” Komui looked at him meaningfully. “Don’t think this might be in any way related to a _very special_ Innocence which we might be interested in finding?”

“No,” lied Kanda, “I don’t see how this is related to any of the Innocence, unless Jonathan turns out to be an Accommodator. Maybe you’ll want Hevlaska to check him out.”

“No need,” Komui said suddenly, relaxing and sitting back in his chair. “I believe you. Whatever it was, I’m glad you two retrieved the Innocence and made it back alive. That’s really all that matters.” He shuffled some more papers. The phone on his table rang, and he picked it up.

“Hello?... Yes, I’m having a debrief with him… Oh? That’s great… Oh. Okay. Sure, I’ll let him know. Thank you.”

Komui hung up. “Good news, Lavi just woke up. Bad news, as soon as he could walk, he’s gone off somewhere.” He smiled winsomely at Kanda. “Given that you two have some new bonding experience, maybe you could find him for us, Kanda?”

Kanda only shot him a miffed look of murder before dashing out of the office.

He found Lavi in one of the places he thought he would likely find him: in Kanda’s room.

Lavi was balancing precariously on his crutches, staring at the lotus on Kanda’s bedside table, encased in glass. He jumped and turned around when Kanda came in, then relaxed when he saw who it was, and went back to staring at the lotus.

“It’s rude to break into people’s rooms without permission, idiot,” said Kanda, but his voice was not unkind.

Lavi ignored him and reached out to press his fingers on the glass case. He gently tapped the bottom, where several petals had fallen.

“Did… Was that my fault?” he asked, his voice scratchy with emotion.

Kanda shrugged. “It’s not a big deal,” he said, but that might have been the wrong thing to say. Lavi looked crestfallen as he sat down heavily on Kanda’s bed, hand going up to touch his right eye.

“’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you more harm. I shouldn’t have fallen that damn Akuma’s trickery. I’m so stupid. I’m really, really sorry,” he said ruefully, looking as if the end of the world was nigh.

Kanda heaved a big sigh and closed his eyes. After sacrificing himself and damn near dying, Lavi was apologizing for making one damn petal drop. Truly only someone as stupid as Lavi would do something like that.

He sat down beside Lavi and looked at him. “What did you do with that Innocence in the end? How did you manage to change us back?”

Lavi looked down at his own palm. “I just grabbed it and thought to myself, I don’t want Yuu to die. I would rather it be me. I would rather be the one to pay for my own stupid mistake. I wanted it to save Yuu.”

He gave Kanda a small smile. “Guess it did grant my wishes.”

There, in the semi-darkness of his own room, Kanda looked, really looked at Lavi for the very first time, and saw that Lavi’s smile on his own face was more beautiful than it ever was on Kanda’s.

Somehow, he found himself smiling back.

_Some day, that smile on your face will be the death of me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add, but watch me _casually_ slide in some Lavi-is-the-Heart theory in there like a mofo hurrhurr


	6. His Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Tumblr prompt fill for the ever-lovely aqd! Cheers Daphne! :)  
> Prompt 26. "I got you a present."  
> Y'all better buckle your seat belts mmkay.

The honeyed voice came out of the darkness lightly, like a wisp of smoke, stirring Lavi from his sleep.

“Lavi,” it whispered, a familiar yet chilling voice. “Lavi, I got you a present.”

Lavi closed his eye again and gritted his teeth.

“No,” he said, the words grinding harshly on his tongue.

“Lavi? What's wrong?” It was too sweet-- a tease disguised as an inquiry. The voice came nearer.

“I don’t want it,” Lavi almost whimpered, but steadied his voice at the very last moment before he spoke.

“I don't understand...Lavi?”

He could recognize that voice now. Oh God.

She was standing in front of him, so close that her little breaths fanned the tip of his nose. Even her breath smelled sweet, like she had drunk a mix of flower nectar and fruit juice merely moments earlier.

Too sweet.

Against his own will, Lavi opened his eye.

Lenalee blinked, her long dark eyelashes casting pretty shadows over her large amethyst eyes and porcelain cheeks. She seemed to glow with an ethereal light, making her pale skin almost translucent. It was- she was- so beautiful that it was almost scary.

Her plump pink lips shone distractingly as she spoke. “Were you having a nightmare?” she asked softly.

Lavi furrowed his brow and looked down. He shook his head slightly. His teeth were still tightly clenched as he struggled to calm his emotions.

Lenalee gave him a genuine look of sympathy. “Oh, Lavi.”

She stepped forward, arms outstretched as if to touch him, but Lavi winced and shifted out of reach stiffly. Lenalee stopped, and her face contorted with grief.

“Lavi, I… I know it’s been really hard since you came back. I know you still have nightmares about the torture… about _them_.” She clenched her hands close to her body anxiously. “I want to help. _Please._ ”

“ _Help_.” Lavi let out a bitter chuckle and looked straight at her with open desperation. “You have helped _enough_. Please just leave me alone,” he pleaded, and closed his eye, willing her to go away.

“I’m sorry,” Lenalee mumbled in a hurt tone. “Before I go… Look at what I brought you.” She gently placed something warm and soft in his lap.

Lavi really, really didn’t want to look, but he had no choice.

He opened his eye, and saw.

Allen’s soft gray eyes stared listlessly from the dismembered head that dripped sticky warmth down his bare thighs and legs.

Lavi barely even flinched. He stared at the object as if he didn’t understand what it was. Lenalee gave him a sweet, wistful smile, like a sad angel.

“You killed him,” she told him quietly. “You killed Allen, and my brother, and everyone else I have ever held dear in my home, just because of your Bookman secrets.”

Lavi’s own tone was as dead as Allen looked. “Those people are precisely why I’m not going to tell you anything, Noah. I do it to protect them. You know this.”

Lenalee emitted a cruel and cutting laugh. “Protect!” Her lips curled up in vicious mirth. “You think you’re doing this to _protect_ them?”

She looked at him with eyes narrowed in disgust, as if he was hideous and grotesque. “You’re a liar, aren’t you, Mr Bookman Junior?” she asked with a sneer. “All you ever do is lie. You lie to your master, to your so-called friends… you even lie to yourself, don’t you, Lavi?”

Her hand shot out and grabbed a handful of Lavi’s hair. He grunted as she yanked it roughly, tilting his head back and forcing him to look down at her at a vulnerable angle. He tried desperately not to show it, but he was scared and nauseated by her presence, almost to the point of vomiting.

“You always prided yourself in being the vessel of the Bookman clan spirit,” said Lenalee savagely, “ _‘Thou shalt not sympathize. Thou shalt not feel.’_ All that bullshit fakery that old men hold onto with their dying breaths in the name of some hidden knowledge. You have always lived that life, haven’t you? Tell me, how do you find it so far?”

Lavi stared back at her with cold indifference, but he knew the shaking of his clenched fists was giving his game away.

The illusion, still wearing Lenalee’s face, grinned knowingly. “We Noah have lived long enough to know as you know. There is no God. There is no meaning in knowledge, or love, or human nature. In the end, every single man and woman, including rotten old Bookmen, lie and betray and kill each other for themselves only, and then pretend like they’re doing it for some greater cause.”

Cracking. The edges of Lavi were cracking, and he was unable to stop thinking about what she was saying, unable to stop his consciousness and self-identity being slowly ripped apart at the seams.

Was he really lying to himself? He knew objectively that if he spilled a single word about the Bookman clam’s knowledge of the Heart of the Innocence, all the Exorcists were as good as dead. However, were his motives right? Who was he trying to save? Who was he holding out for? His comrades?

Or himself?

Lenalee leaned forward and looked at him with purple eyes that seemed to bore into his soul.

“You,” she said slowly, “have worn that mask for so long, that in the end, you’ve become what you pretended to be.”

She pressed a finger hard into his chest. “Empty, right here.”

Both Lavi and Lenalee jumped at a sudden intrusion as a door banged open and a figure charged in from nowhere. Lenalee let out a quick scream as a blade streaked through the darkness, catching a bit of light and glinting deadly silver. Her body tore open and bled from the stomach, and she crumpled to the ground in a broken heap. Lavi stared down at her. He could feel tears already rising into his eyes.

 _She was fake,_ he thought to himself shakily, _It wasn’t the real Lenalady._

However, knowing she wasn’t real didn’t make her death, no, her _deaths_ , any less painful. Lavi wrapped his bloodied arms around himself and shivered, fighting tooth and nail with the urge to cry or throw up.

“Usagi. Usagi, hey!”

A sharp pain erupted from Lavi’s cheek, shaking him out of his stupor. He blinked back the tears and looked up.

“Y-Yuu?”

“Tch.” The Japanese Exorcist looked as peeved as always, but his face and features were sharper. His ponytail now brushed the curve of his waist. Lavi gazed at him with dull terror.

Had it really been so long since he was captured? How many weeks? Months? Years?

He was paralysed, both with fear and weariness. His bones ached. He was so tired.

“Snap out of it and help me with these, the rest of them will be here in a fucking second.” Kanda was kneeling on the floor in the semi-darkness now, trying his best to free Lavi’s numb legs from the ropes that bound him to the chair. The ropes had dug deep into his flesh, causing wounds that had scabbed over. The rough fibers grating against his raw skin were supposed to hurt, but they didn’t.

Nothing seemed to physically hurt Lavi any more.

With an exasperated growl, Kanda tugged the ropes hard and sliced them with Mugen. They fell apart easily, and Lavi’s legs were free.

“Can you stand?” asked Kanda urgently, looking behind him to survey the room. When he looked back at Lavi, his eyes widened and the divot between his ever-scrunched brows faded.

Silently, he reached out to touch a few tentative fingers to the tears streaking down from Lavi’s good eye.

“Usagi?” Kanda muttered uncertainly.

Chin wobbling, Lavi put a trembling hand over Kanda’s, pressing Kanda’s warm fingers into his cheek.

“Yuu.” Lavi’s voice cracked as he sobbed, shattering a dam inside him and letting all his bottled pain and sorrow flood out in long internal scream. He threw his arms over Kanda’s shoulders and heard the other man gasp.

His face was mushed against Kanda’s breastbone, and he could smell his clean comforting scent, lotus and soap and wheat soba. He felt the thud of Kanda’s heart against his cheekbone.

It felt so real.

Kanda stiffened, but didn’t try to pull away. Slowly, he relaxed and began to stroke Lavi’s back in soothing motions, the way Bookman used to do for Lavi sometimes when he was still a young boy.

It felt so real that it was ripping the not-heart he had to shreds.

He’d fought back. God knows he had. He’d watched Bookman, Lenalee, Allen, Komui, Johnny, everyone else he knew in the Order, die again and again. Through all that, he had never cried. He had never wavered.

But this, being wrapped tightly in Yuu arms, hearing his heartbeat through his shirt, feeling his warmth, smelling his scent… Lavi knew it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

This, being wrapped tightly in Yuu’s arms, was the closest thing to love that Lavi had ever known in his life.

He knew it was an illusion.

He knew that in a few moments, Yuu would turn into another one of the Noah and do something to hurt him, to brand another scar into his skin and memory and not-heart.

But he was so _tired._

So Lavi sat there without a word, letting himself pretend, soaking Yuu’s warmth in down to the bones, even as his chest continued to ache in an empty spot on the right.

* * *

 

After a much too short a few minutes, Kanda gently pulled away. He wiped Lavi’s face dry with a sleeve and brushed the red matted hair off his forehead.

 “Usagi…” Yuu’s cruel smile was beatific. “I’m going to give you a present.”

Lavi smiled sadly at him and closed his eye.

_Joke’s on you, Noah. You already have._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy guys, I love every single comment and kudos, thank you so very much for biting into these oneshots!  
> I love to take an idea given to me and play with it, turn it upside-down and inside-out and sideways, so I wrote angst for something that you probably would expect fluff out of. I hope it made you guys pleasantly (?) surprised. Was I successful? :)
> 
> (also the title is a word play on the word 'presence' yeah i'm lame i'm gonna shut up now ;;)


	7. Pirates!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pirate AU LaviYuu, but no yaoi, sorry....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My (belated) birthday gift to the godmother of the LaviYuu fanfic kingdom, i_am_zan. Happy birthday, my dear! I hope you enjoy this... er... thing I wrote! ^^"

The loud horn of a porting ship came loud and clear from the harbour.

Sweat dripped down a dark-haired man’s fair skin as he paused in his movement. His pose was _en-garde_ , powerful and elegant, polished sword poised perfectly to strike. He drew back into an upright position and wiped his brow.

He looked skywards. If the harbour had begun its daily bustle, then the hour was later than he had realized. He had been sword training in his garden before dawn, and time was lost in his regime as he concentrated mind and body in the practiced movements of his blade. The man walked over to a garden chair and sat, and began to polish his sword with reverent care.

Downstairs of his small manor, voices echoed through his hall.

“Tell the Captain that I shall see him at once,” said a man’s voice.

“Sir Howard, with all due respect, Captain Kanda has given explicit orders not to interrupt his morning training sessions,” replied another.

“Tell him it is of utmost importance.”

“Sir, I implore you ---”

“It’s alright, Marie,” the dark-haired man said to his butler from upstairs. “I’m done for today.”

The dark-haired man came down the steps. His guest, a man in a handsome brown military coat and a blond braid down his back, saluted him formally.

“Captain Kanda Yuu,” greeted the blond man.

“Sir Howard Link,” replied Kanda. “What brings you to my home so early in the morning?”

“It is my duty to inform you that Lord Leverrier requires your presence at your earliest convenience.”

Kanda huffed. “What is it he wants this time?” he asked, not without apparent displeasure.

“I heard that it is a matter of pirates, Captain.”

Kanda’s dark eyebrows rose ever so slightly in skepticism. “Very well, I shall meet him this morning, in an hour’s time.”

Satisfied with this answer, Howard Link saluted his farewell and departed.

Marie closed the front door and watched Kanda drop his rigid posture into a more relaxed one. “Pirates?” he asked curiously.

Kanda sighed. “That old ass thinks that anyone who owns a raft without the approval of the Navy is a pirate. I don’t know why he wastes my time like that.”

Marie only smiled and served his master some green tea. The captain went to freshen up. Within the hour, he was on horseback, on his way to the Commodore’s office.

The rays of morning sun came in from the huge double windows and casted a fine sheen on the lacquer of Commodore Leverrier’s desk. When a servant came in to announce the arrival of Captain Kanda Yuu, the moustached Commodore looked up from his map and put down his plotting compass.

“A pleasure to see you this fine morning, Captain,” he said stiffly as Kanda came into the room.

“Pleasure is mine, Lord Leverrier,” said Kanda just as insincerely. “What services of mine do you require? Sir Howard mentioned pirates during our brief meeting just now.”

Leverrier grinned in his horrible, sly way. “Yesterday, officials have seen a certain man dressed in pirates’ garb dock secretly at the edge of the harbour, about two hours past midnight, and sneak into town. Of course, the harbour guards tried to detain him, but he managed to slip away.”

“Slip away?” Kanda raised an eyebrow. “Must be some formidable convict, to give an entire band of guards the slip.”

Leverrier’s face darkened at this indirect jab at his power. “Formidable or not, he must be detained. I will not have filthy pirates on my land. You are to look into this matter and arrest him immediately, Captain. I will have guards at the port to make sure he does not escape. Within a week, I will have that pirate hanging from the gallows. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Kanda said coldly. He saluted the Commodore and left the office as quickly as he could.

* * *

Soldiers scurried up and down the streets with torches as they searched for the bandit. As captain, Kanda had no choice but to lead them, but he was getting tired of that shit. As the evening fell, he dismissed them for the night.

However, it did not mean that his own search was done.

He spent a few hours ducking into every inn and tavern in town. It was one thing to arrive at the premises with a bunch of loudmouth soldiers, startling everybody to their presence, and it was another to arrive quietly undercover as a patron. Kanda kept his hood up as he sat at each bar, ordered a drink, and watched from the shadows.

He arrived at a small place that was filled with dirty harbour workers and other men from the lowest class of the social ladder. It was a real swine-pen of a place, and Kanda grimaced slightly to himself as he squeezed between sweating, stinking men and took a seat at the bar. A fat bald man came and Kanda ordered a drink. The mug that the drink arrived in was gray, and Kanda could not tell if it was the original colour of the mug or a steady collection of muck on its surface.

As he examined the disgusting mug and wondered how the other men did not get poisoning from the filth, a soft and low voice spoke from his left.

“A real pleasure to see you again, Captain.”

Kanda jumped and looked to his left. The man who had just taken a seat winked a single green eye at him, the other eye covered with a black patch. His red hair looked ominously bloody in the dim firelight of the tavern.

“It’s you,” said Kanda in genuine surprise.

The redhead grinned slyly and nodded. “It’s me. I’m glad you remember our meeting. It’s been two years.”

Two years since Kanda had met him, in the waters close to the west coast of Danga Bay, as they fought with cannonfire and swords under the thundering storm. Kanda had slain the captain of the pirate ship, and the redhead, who was the co-captain, had engaged in fierce battle with the Navy man until the pirates managed to damage Kanda’s ship. The Navy could only retreat before their ship was blown apart, and barely managed to get away.

For two years, Kanda heard nothing of that crew and their ship.

“Where were you hiding?” asked Kanda in a low tone. “We searched this entire town today.”

The pirate casually popped a peanut into his mouth. “Hid at the Bookman’s place. He’s a nice old man.”

“You threatened him, then?”

“Nah. Offered him some books that he wouldn’t have been able to access any other way. I don’t like unnecessary violence.” The redhead glanced down a little. “So, maybe you should put that hand on your sword away before some innocent bystanders get harmed.”

Kanda smirked. “Am I supposed to just let you do what you’re here for and let you get away scot free?”

“That’s the plan, my dearest Captain,” the redhead replied charmingly.

Kanda leapt to his feet and drew his sword. Likewise, Lavi had a dagger in his hand and was poised for fight. The patrons around them took the hint and fled out the door noisily.

Captain and pirate fought with equal standing as they parried back and forth, almost dancer-like in their movements. Kanda was a masterful swordsman, but the pirate was sly and quick, and knew how to manoeuvre in a way that was almost ferret-like. He ducked just as Kanda thrust his sword forward and rounded a pillar, causing Kanda to stab right into wood. Before the captain could pull his sword out, the redhead brandished his dagger and cut neatly into the coat of the narrowly-missed captain.

They pulled back and rounded the space between them, their steps deliberate and light.

“I see you’re still excellent with the sword,” the redhead said.

“Not too bad yourself, for a pirate that is,” replied Kanda with a cocky smile. “Are you going to tell me what your plan is before I arrest you?”

The pirate flashed him a winsome grin. “You’re the plan, Captain.”

In a blink, the pirate had a handful of white powder in his palm. He stepped forward and blew it into Kanda’s face. The captain stumbled backwards and coughed. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the pirate’s apologetic smile.

* * *

When he came to, Kanda was on the deck of a ship.

Even before opening his eyes, he could recognize the steady rocking of waves under him. He blinked and shook his head. He was being tied to the mast of a large vessel. Men in pirate garbs bustled around him busily, pulling lines and transporting cannonballs. One of them noticed he was awake and waved a dagger at him threateningly.

Above, the night sky blossomed with light as cannons were fired.

He looked towards the stern, and saw the redheaded pirate at the wheel. The pirate looked at him and grinned as he came over.

“Thanks to you and your incredibly fast, sturdy ship, Captain, we’re making full speed away from port despite being under some pretty serious cannonfire,” the redhead said cheerily.

“My ship?” Kanda looked up, and there at the mast were the dark blue sails of his Navy fleet, complete with the flag of the Black Order.

“What the fuck!” he shouted at the redhead, struggling mightily. “Why the hell am I here?”

“Oh, well, I took you hostage. You see, I snuck into town knowing that sooner or later, you would come looking for me yourself. I let myself be found, and so I could take you along with me for a ride. The soldiers had no choice but to let me through with me holding you hostage, so the reason I am now at sea is all thanks…”

The redhead pulled out a dagger and held it above Kanda’s head.

“…to you.” The dagger sliced through the ropes, and Kanda found himself free of his binds. He jumped to his feet and searched for his sword, but it was missing.

The pirate motioned to one of the other pirates, who brought him Kanda’s sword. Kanda observed the way the other pirate treated the redhead.

“You’re the captain of these bandits now?” Kanda asked.

“Yeap,” replied the pirate.

He extended the sword towards Kanda. “No worries, I will not harm you nor bind you on your own vessel. I merely need to borrow your ship to get to my destination. As soon as I’m done with it, I will personally deliver you and your ship safely back to port. I offer you my name and your sword as promise.” His single green eye gleamed in the lamplight. “My name is Lavi, or Captain Lavi if you prefer to go by formalities. Will you deign to give me yours?”

Kanda eyed the sword and slowly took it from the pirate. “Kanda Yuu,” he said solemnly. “I don’t understand why you would risk sneaking into town just to steal my ship.”

Lavi grinned knowingly. “It’s not your ship I am after, my friend.”

He turned to his crew. “All hands on deck, friends! We make haste for Tortuga!”

A loud cheer went up from the pirates before they continued to go about with their work. Kanda climbed up to the stern after Lavi.

“Why Tortuga?” he asked the pirate captain.

“Come with me, and you’ll see.”

Kanda followed Lavi down to the storage area. Where it was once empty, there were crates stacked haphazardly together. Lavi opened one of them to show him rare herbs and spices that nestled within.

“This is why I went ashore. There was a shipment of spices coming into port, and I had to intercept it. I know a buyer who would pay good coin for it.”

Kanda stared at him. “I honestly thought you were above petty gold, _pirate_ ,” he said with the air of someone who had been betrayed.

Lavi merely smiled infuriatingly. “Isn’t that we pirates are always after?”

The Navy captain threw Lavi a foul look as he turned and went away in anger. Lavi’s smile was gone when he ran his fingers through the herbs and crushed some between his fingers.

“Gold.”

* * *

Kanda woke up in the bed in the captain’s quarters. Beneath him, his ship rocked gently on kind waves.

When he stepped out to the main deck, he saw that the sun had not quite yet awoken. Stars twinkled overhead as he flexed and prepared to do some light training.

There was some soft talking up on the stern. Kanda looked up and saw two figures. One of them was easily recognizable as Lavi, thanks to his red hair. The other was a slight man wearing a purple bandanna. They spoke in low tones, their heads bowed together. Kanda was surprised when they hugged. He moved quietly to hide behind the main mast as Lavi descended down to the crew’s quarters, leaving the other pirate on the stern.

He was even more surprised when the pirate turned and called in a high-pitched voice for him to stop eavesdropping.

Kanda stepped out from his hiding spot and slowly walked up to the higher deck.

“You’re a woman,” he said, surprised.

“As I am well aware,” the female pirate said casually. Her dark hair escaped in wisps under her bandanna. Her skin, once pale, was tanned into a smooth gold.

“I thought pirates considered it ill fortune to have a female on board.”

The woman scoffed. “Lavi does not care for what others have to say, and neither do the rest of the crew. We get by just fine.”

“Did he—Were you forced to be here?” Kanda asked.

“No,” the woman replied sharply. “I came on my own free will. Nobody, not even Lavi, binds me here, but I serve him willingly.”

“Why?”

“He saved me from a terrible fate. There are places that would make this ship like paradise itself. He helped me escape those places. I am happy here.”

She turned her dark eyes on the captain. “Lavi treats everyone well. All of us would die to protect him. He lets his guard down around you. I swear, if you lay a finger on him, I will personally request the men to let me rip your throat out,” she warned viciously.

Kanda nodded solemnly and watched her walk off to go below-deck.

He stayed up top and trained until the sun emerged and so did the crew. A pirate clanked on a pot noisily and woke up the latewakers as the rest of them started on their daily chores of scrubbing the deck and storing the supplies. During the day, Kanda noticed two more women in the crew, but they seemed to be treated as equals by the men and were given a fair share of tasks. Kanda thought about the woman that morning had said, and wondered what Lavi had saved them from.

The redhead himself was all smiles and sunshine as he bid Kanda good morning. He asked rather politely if he could have some of the food that Kanda had stored in the captain’s cabins. When he agreed, Lavi thanked him and divided the good food between himself and the crew. Kanda may not know much about the pirate captain, but it was obvious that he was an exceptionally considerate captain, and it was not a surprise that his crew seemed very loyal to him.

About halfway through the day, the sea breeze grew stronger.

“Trim that sail! Slack windward brace and sheet! Haul the pennant line!” shouted Lavi from the stern, and the deck hands scurried to obey him. The sails picked up the winds and began to roll speedily through the waves.

The crew relaxed and basked in the sun. Some of the men sat on deck and played a round of die. Even the women gambled.

At one point, Kanda was pulled over, as if he wasn’t a hostage from the enemy’s lines, and hustled into a bet with the other men. Die was exchanged for cards yellowed by the sea salt. One of the crew dealt the cards.

And so a silly game of strip poker commenced. Each time a player lost, they lost a shirt or a bandanna or a necklace, until they were down to their pants. The female pirates did not join, but they did not seem to mind watching, and laughed just as loudly as the men.

Kanda usually had a fair bit of luck and a good head when it came to poker, so he made the other players switch around until he’d wiped out about five or six men.

“Hey Capt, fancy a round of strip poker?” one pirate yelled up to the stern.

Lavi perked up from his spot and jumped down to the deck. “Aye, sure don’t mind,” he said cheekily.

The redhead sat down to play, and for the first time that afternoon, Kanda found his match. Lavi had impeccable memory and skill at cards, and he easily played three men down. Kanda lost one round and was forced to remove his coat. The pirates cackled as they seized the garment, put it on, and took turns walking around high and mightily to the cheers of the others.

Lavi lost his hat and coat, and then his bandanna, to Kanda, but then the Navy captain lost his own waistcoat and bead necklace. With the last game, they were eye-to-eye, but Kanda bore down on his own impatience and put down a solid hand, and Lavi was beat.

The redhead chuckled. “Won, fair and square,” he said wonderingly. “I concede.”

He unbuttoned his shirt and flung it over his shoulder as he stood. “Well, game’s up for me. If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the hammocks.”

The card game continued, but Kanda was not focusing on his cards. His eyes were trained on Lavi’s back, scored with dozens of old wounds, crisscrossing his back.

On the small of his back was a brown scar, the memoir of a hot poker leaving its mark on the pirate’s body forever.

The mark of the ownership of a slave.

* * *

That night, they arrived at Tortuga. The isle was a pirate’s haven. It was their territory for rum-smuggling, drinking, whoring, robbing each other blind and all sorts of unsavoury business. Boats floated freely portside, and Lavi left strict orders to several crew men to guard the ship while he was away. With that, he, Kanda and several other pirates entered the mess that was the isle of Tortuga.

Everywhere they went, pirates lounged with drinks in their hand, or knives, or a handful of female bosom. Drunken pirates shot each other over their heads and bullets whizzed across paths. Kanda watched out of the corners of his eyes as three pirates clanked their tankards together at a table, drained their drinks, and then bashed each other over the head with their tankards, immediately joined by several other watching pirates.

They made their way to a wooden establishment lit with red lanterns all over. Heavily painted whores walked to and fro from the building and made eyes at Kanda as he passed. Lavi spoke to a heavyset doorkeeper whom Kanda confused for male for the first few moments, and then they were allowed passage into the whorehouse. Lavi’s crew stopped a few times to flirt with the women, and one was so bold as to plant a big kiss on the redhead’s lips, but they safely reached the second floor without being harassed any further.

In a private room, they were met with a beautiful Madame of Asian ascent. She wore beautiful crimson robes and a heavy headdress as she settled down and served tea to her guests in small china cups.

“A pleasure to see you again, Anita. You look as astounding as ever,” said Lavi with a charming smile.

The Madame laughed prettily behind the sleeve of her robes. “Flattery never begets you anywhere with me, Lavi. Pray tell, what business do you have with me?”

“Remember you told me you were in need of the herbs and spices from India?”

“Oh? And you have come by some?” asked the Madame curiously.

Lavi folded his arms smugly. “A whole shipment of them. I think you will find them in good quantity and condition.”

“Splendid! So you do hold the end of your deals despite all that sweet talk.”

“A good man never goes back on his word. I also trust that you would also uphold your end of the bargain?”

“But of course. It benefits me as much as it benefits you, dear Lavi.”

The lady waved to a servant, who stepped forward with a hefty sack of gold. As one of the pirates took it and checked the amount, Anita’s eyes went to Kanda.

“And what have you found here? A new shipmate, I see?”

Kanda shook his head. “More like a hostage to ensure he gets away with that shipment of spices you just bought.”

“I treat my hostages well I think, so far he hasn’t tried to slay me or make a run for it,” said Lavi.

“What use will you have for me dead?” asked Kanda with a shrug.

The Madame watched Kanda with amusement in her eyes. “This one is pretty and has brains,” she said to Lavi. “Won’t you care to sell him to me? I could take him off your hands for a high price. His face would fill my bank to the brim.”

Kanda began to hackle at the mere suggestion, but Lavi placed a hand firmly on his shoulder.

“Darling Anita, I promised this man here no harm until I deliver him safely to his home. Surely you would not force me to forfeit my honour? A good man does not go back on his word, remember?” Lavi implored.

Anita batted her long eyelashes at him. “I spoke in jest, my dear. Now you have your gold, you may go to the traders. Send me the girls as you always do, won’t you?”

Lavi bowed to her. “Certainly.”

They were shown the way out by more servants. Outside, Kanda threw Lavi a dirty look.

“Now that you have your money, you have to send me and my ship back to the coast.”

Lavi whistled. “Easy, Yuu. First, I’m going to take care of some more business here, and then we’re set to go. Does that satisfy you?”

Kanda crossed his arms. He was about to ask what sort of business when an unfamiliar pirate came up and talked to one of Lavi’s men. The man in turn conveyed a whispered message to Lavi. The redhead nodded, and they followed the pirate to a large warehouse.

Inside the warehouse, men, women and children carried large crates and sacks of traded items on their backs. A foreman stood around with a whip. The air was rank with sweat and human waste. In one corner, women with their skin almost blackened with dirt huddled together.

A deep frown adorned Lavi’s face for a moment, but it smoothened out into a bored expression.

“Stand back and don’t say a word, Yuu,” he said under his breath.

Kanda hesitated, and then stepped back as Lavi spoke to the man with the whip. Some more men appeared, and Lavi’s man handed one of them the sack of gold. They pawed through the money, and after that, the man with the whip went to the corner with the women. He yanked one of them up roughly by the wrist.

Kanda instinctively stepped forward, but Lavi was quicker. He was instantly at the foreman’s side, hand on the man’s arm, face contorted with rage.

“They’re mine now,” he growled, looking angrier than Kanda had ever seen him. “I suggest that you treat my property with respect.”

The foreman scowled at him, but let go of the woman. Lavi ordered them to stand up and follow him. A few working men and women were commanded to drop their labour and follow them as well.

Outside, Lavi ordered his men to untie the slaves. When they were freed, they stared agape at Lavi.

“You can go,” Lavi told them loudly. “You’re all free men and women now.”

Several of the women started to cry. One man stood forward.

“What is this trickery?” he demanded. “Nobody would buy slaves just to set them free!”

Lavi looked at him kindly. “I was one of you.” He turned and pulled up the hem of his shirt so the slaves could see the brand on his back. A few of them gasped and exclaimed aloud. He turned back around. “I will try my best to free as many of our brothers and sisters as possible. For the men, please look for work in decent places. For the women, you can go to Madame Anita. She runs a whorehouse, but she treats her girls with fairness and respect. My ship also welcomes a new crewmate at any time. Please, value your lives and try to make it better. Like me, I hope you will dig yourselves out of this hell and find it in you to free other slaves.”

The slaves cheered loudly, and some of them came personally to thank the pirate captain. The others scattered in search of new lives. When Lavi led Kanda and his men back to their ships, a few of the newly free men followed to be signed up as crew.

As they left the isle that night, there was drink and food in celebration of their new brethren. The pirates sang pirate songs and had a jolly good time. Even Kanda settled down for some rum. He watched the men dance drunkenly about and make fools of themselves, when he realized that their captain had stepped away from the company.

He found him alone at the stern, looking out to the sea. Lavi’s hair gleamed rich reddish-gold in the illumination of the lamps. His eye twinkled secretively as he looked at Kanda over his shoulder.

“If it isn’t the Navy captain,” he greeted warmly. “What brings you away from the bottle?”

Kanda leaned against the railing and looked seriously at Lavi. “Can you tell me about the slave brand on your back?” he asked. “That scar didn’t look old enough to have been inflicted before I met you.”

“Oh.” Lavi smiled self-depreciatingly. “That was a year ago. When we last met, you slain the captain of the crew I was with, didn’t you? After that, I was the captain of that ship for around a year.”

He looked at Kanda with a solemn expression. “At the west coast of Izen, I was met by a possible acquaintance of yours. The Duke of Izen.”

“Sheril Camelot.” Kanda shuddered. “I always hated that man.”

“For good reason. Instead of hanging us, he killed half of my crew and sold the rest of us as slaves.” Lavi looked away and wrapped his arms around himself. “I was sold at Tortuga to the highest bidder, a slave driver for some railroad building company in Esbak. I was damn near killed several times there.”

“How did you get out?” Kanda asked slowly.

Lavi looked at him with a soft expression. “I killed the captain of a Navy ship and stole it. I got a few slaves together, ran to Tortuga, and plundered enough goods offshore to make a fortune. What I do not spend on my crew and my ship, I use to free slaves.”

It was rather chilling to hear that Lavi had killed one of his comrades, and Kanda felt a shiver run through his spine. Lavi seemed to be able to read his expression, because he moved away into the darkness.

“Not the same fate for you, Yuu. I’m a man of my word. You be safe and sound on English lands by tomorrow. Trust me.”

“What about you?” asked Kanda quietly, but no reply came from the shadows of the night.

* * *

 

The ship rolled smoothly over the waves as it neared the port. Lavi was up at the crow’s nest, looking through his telescope. He lowered it and yelled, “Land ahoy!”

Lord Leverrier also watched the ship through his telescope.

“A shame, Captain Kanda Yuu,” he said to himself. “It’s either the sea or death by the gallows for associating with pirates for you. Frankly, I’ll take any way that’ll prevent you from climbing up the ranks.”

He snapped his telescope shut. “Ready, men! And… fire!!”

Cannons boomed as Leverrier’s men stood portside and attacked the incoming vessel. The ship withstood the assault for a while, but quickly succumbed to the gunpowder. The masts collapsed and wooden planks sent splinters afly as the handsome ship groaned. From within, barrels of gunpowder exploded, and the ship was engulfed in flames. Leverrier smirked to himself and folded his telescope in satisfaction. “The damage is done, men. Cease fire.”

Soon, the Navy ship crumpled upon itself, and was but a burning wreckage that sank into the sea.

* * *

 

A smaller ship floated just out of sight along the reef, shielded by cliffs and large rocks. A black pirate’s flag waved merrily in the breeze.

Lavi folded his telescope and leaned against the helm. He looked at his newest crewmate with a smile.

“Is it too late to say something like ‘ye can board me port tonight’, Captain Yuu?”

Kanda leaned ever so slightly against Lavi’s side and brushed the redhead’s knuckles with his own.

“Only if I can reply with something like ‘ye shiver me timber’, Captain Lavi,” he replied with the ghost of a smirk.

The crewmates started cheering and teasing as they spotted their two captains kiss passionately at the helm.

_“Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate’s life for me!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally got all my info from Pirates of the Caribbean, so you are allowed to blast me with a cannon for any factual errors and shit. It's 4.40 am and I should not be allowed to write now... Goodnight!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! I myself am not a big fan of reading drabbles, but I like variety in writing, and my long fic Rabbit Parasite is... stuck... so I'm resolved to write smol bits to motivate myself.  
> Y'all holler at me on [ Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/suicidetoro) okay.


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